The Perks And Trials Of Visiting America

I’m currently sitting in my room in Adwa on my first full day back at site after visiting home for 20 days. Before I left to visit and while I was home people asked me whether it was going to be hard coming back. I gave different answers depending on my mood, but over all I felt like it wouldn’t be difficult, and I was surprisingly right.

I left Ethiopia feeling down, tired, and ready for a break. I had finished out my first year of teaching, but was frustrated with the education system. I was finishing up my first year in country, and although there are many things I love about this country, culture, and people I was ready to go back to the easiness and convenience of America for a bit. In PC we have a chart that is supposed to show the emotional highs and lows of service. The first year there are some highs and a lot of lows, by the end of year one it’s a low, and then the second year there are more highs. It’s not the same for everyone, but generally most services follow that path. I was warned against going home when I was on a low because I might not want to come back, luckily it had the opposite effect on me. I left on a bit of a high note, with my dad and brother having just visited (read my blog post An Experience Of A Lifetime), but I was still ready for a change. Having talked to people who had visited home, especially at the year mark, most said it was a lot of fun to visit but to be careful because it was difficult for them to come back. I luckily, did not have that experience and I was ready to come back.

I traveled back to America with my dad and brother and then peeled off from them in Washington D.C. as they stayed for a few days to site see while I continued home. We had a layover in the Dubai airport, which was probably the most culture-shocking thing that could have happened to me. The Dubai airport is a true testament of globalization, the crossing of East and West, and the difference of cultures yet similarities of humanity. There were European families, American teenagers, African couples, Asian groups, Middle Eastern parents and children, and everyone in between. There were females in full headscarves, being pulled my little children with Sketchers on, there were Texan men who were spilling out over their seats sitting next to size 1 Chinese women, and there were people with the nicest cell phones and Gucci bags next to people with generation 1 Rzars. It was an interesting and truly fascinating cross culture moment for me and one that I had never really seen before, especially having been in a country with such a sense of autonomy for the past year.

I am not going to detail every thing that I did while home. I can’t remember everything I did, and I am fairly certain that if I did type out everything I did that it would mean I would write a 20 page long blog post, which you certainly don’t want to read and I don’t really want to write. I told people before I visited home that I really just wanted to see people, eat and drink, and I think they thought I was kidding—but they soon saw that I wasn’t.

I had a great time visiting people and experiencing things that I can’t while over in Ethiopia, such as cubed ice whenever I want, getting what you ordered off a menu, or doing laundry while sleeping in a washing machine. I was lucky that 2 of my fellow G11ers who I talk to were in the US the same time I was, because I was able to text them all my random moments I had that no one else understood but were surreal to me, like getting to drive in a car and roll the windows down, or getting to walk down the street without being stared at. For me, visiting America was less about culture shock as a whole and more about the random moments I didn’t think I would even notice.

Visiting home made me realize how much Americans take for granted, while also realizing what I truly love about Ethiopia. Coming back to Addis was difficult because I was exhausted, it’s a big city, and it doesn’t feel like home. When I got back to site though I was able to breath again. I miss my friends, family, and home dearly, but it was a nice feeling that I felt like I was back at my 2^nd home, and that I was back to the reality I feel more comfortable with. My time in America was great, full of memories, and too short- but it was also a bit surreal. I felt like I wasn’t truly back home. I had moments where I did feel back at home, but I felt a little like an outsider at points because someone at a restaurant would make a comment about the food or the temperature and I would think to myself “You have no idea. Come visit me and see how most of the world lives…” I realized I am becoming “that person” who almost scolds others for their world outlook.

The thing is, I didn’t intend to become that person. I think having only been home for 20 days, I didn’t get to immerse myself back in the American culture- I was there just long enough to adjust to some things while still thinking like I do in Ethiopia. I am already back to thinking how I have the past year, and I have only been back in Ethiopia for a bit. I am sure that when I move back to America I will adjust almost all the way back, but my time at home was too short to really do that. I am so incredibly glad I got to visit New Mexico, see my friends and family, and experience “American life” again. It gave me a great time to reboot and relax, but it also gave me a time to realize what I want to accomplish in my next year as a Peace Corps Volunteer, and I can’t wait to get started.

The one regret I have from visiting home is that I didn’t journal. I took my journal back with me and fully intended to write in it every day, or at least every other day. I have never missed a day while in Ethiopia, and I wanted to remember my time at home as well. But I got behind when I didn’t write during my journey back to Albuquerque, and then I just got overwhelmed with how many days I had missed. I ended up looking at my calendar I kept for my “social outings” and writing in my journal bullet points of what I did everyday, who I saw, and what I ate, when I got back Ethiopia. It’s not ideal, but hopefully I will at least be able to keep the memories from my trip home.

I think one of the biggest things for me about seeing especially friends while home is how much people have changed. I know that people’s lives have changed while I have been gone, I wasn’t expecting time to freeze. I also know that I changed more than most people have, but it was a crazy experience to come home and be having coffee or drinks with a friend and realize that we are all growing up, just in different ways. I always knew after high school that people would take different paths, but it didn’t dawn on me just how different those paths would be until I left and came back. I have friends getting “real people” jobs and buying houses, friends getting engaged and married, friends having babies, or friends going to grad school. Each works for them, and each is their own life, I just never thought I would actually reach this point in my life—I also assumed my friends and I would stay like 10 years old. I also realized how my life in Ethiopia has been an “in between”. I am grown up in some ways, but I’m also stalling in others. True, I live by myself on the other side of the world, I am growing and changing, and I do have a job. But, my life in America is in a bit of a stand still. I’m not settling down and starting a life like most of my friends are. That’s alright with me, this is who I am and what I’m supposed to be doing, but it was definitely weird to go home and catch up with friends who I don’t have that much in common with anymore.

The best thing about being home was getting to do everything that I missed for a year. Hanging out with my siblings late at night, unlimited texting, snacking from the pantry, blasting music with the windows down in the car, walking through Target clothes aisles, or watching the sun set on my street. You know the saying, “You never know what you have until it’s gone?” Well I never believed that until I left to Ethiopia, and then went back to visit. I didn’t realize how much I took for granted, and I’m not even talking about material things, I’m talking about experiences and moments that I never even realized I was having. While being home I got to have those moments and experiences again, I got to laugh with my parents, smile with my cousins, and talk with my friends. I miss those things dearly, but over the past year I began to feel immune to them. I think I blocked them out while here because that was easier than remembering how happy I was, when I’m down in Ethiopia. Having those times again, reminded me how blessed I am to get to have those moments, and I need to remember those funny times and those amazing times to remember that I do in fact have great family, friends, and life.

So I covered the perks of visiting America, what are the trials? They are small compared to the perks, but they are there. As I said earlier, I think I am becoming a bit of “that person” who might criticize others for their way of thinking. I am trying not to become that person, but it was hard going back to America and not being cynical of how people act and behave, when I have seen how people have some real struggles. Not to say Americans don’t struggle and that all Ethiopians do struggle, because I am not that ignorant person. But I do think that I have seen and experienced more than most people have, and that’s given me a different perspective on lives in different parts of the world.

I became more aware of how the world works, how people interact, and how people survive over the past year, and that gave me a new perspective while visiting America of how we insulate ourselves. I answered so many questions about Ethiopia, which was great, but I also got lots of questions about “Africa”. Forget that Africa is a continent, and is probably the most diverse continent in the world. It would be like me asking how is Asia, Europe, or North America. People don’t quite get that. I am determined when I am a teacher to teach more history and social studies than is currently taught, and I plan to teach about the places that are not given time in current classrooms. I am fairly certain that most people in America don’t know anything about Ethiopia, they might now that Obama came to visit, but that’s all they know. I am not going to pretend that I am a huge history buff. My fellow PCV’s will be talking about an Asian or African country and I might sound stupid and ignorant and ask them a question about it, but at least I know that it’s a country and I’m wanting to learn.

I got a massage while in Colorado for a few days and when the lady made a comment on how many knots I had in my back and I said that I have been in Ethiopia for a year and that I’m going back for another the first question she asked me was, “Are there a lot of starving people there?” I didn’t even know how to answer that, I was in shock. To me, I would never ask that question even if I didn’t live and experience this place. I thought media was kidding when they portrayed characters like that, but one of the hardest parts of America was realizing how many people still live in a mind set that all of Africa is a country and all of the people there are poor and starving. Yes, they do have food problems, but so does America.

Sorry for that rant, that was probably the biggest trial for me of visiting America. Looking around and realizing that while my mind was being opened up and I was experiencing new things, not everyone was having the same transformation and most people were going about their daily lives not thinking or caring about the world like I was. This isn’t a criticism of America, if you don’t have the opportunity to do what I am doing, I understand how their minds work, but it was difficult to go back and see that not everyone has the same willingness to experience the world and then use that experience to help others.

As I said at the beginning, visiting America came at a great time for me. I got to rejuvenate, visit friends and family, eat good food, and reboot myself for another year. I researched grad schools and took the GRE in preparation for next year, I got to see country concerts and experience “America”, and I got to make memories with people who I miss dearly. I came back a little sad, but with the knowledge I would be back in a year. According to all PCV’s I have talked to the 2^nd year flies by. The first year flew by when I look back. I can’t wait to experience this next year and see what happens with my life after Peace Corps.

Just a special shout out to all my friends and family who made my trip home so incredible! I truly enjoyed every moment with you all. I know not everyone was home, people are busy, I was booked, and I was only home for a short time. But even if I didn’t see you, I’m so happy I got to text people and those who I did see, I had an incredible time. I got to catch up with Chi Omega sisters and old friends, I got to see my family (special shout out to my INCREDIBLE cousin Tad, who I’m so happy I got to hug and hang out with after his accident!!!!!), and I got to meet new sisters and friends who up until now I had only had a Facebook “relationship” with. I am blessed with the best people in my life, and I want you all to know how much I appreciate, love, and miss each and every one of you. One more year, and I’m back in the US. It will fly by, I know it! J