Thanksgiving Blessings

Thanksgiving: An annual national holiday marked by religious observances and a traditional meal including turkey. The holiday commemorates a harvest festival celebrated by the Pilgrims in 1621, and is held in the US on the fourth Thursday in November. [Oxford American Dictionary]

Like every holiday, Thanksgiving is celebrated as diversely as the families that make up America. Some people have a clam bake/sea food feast, while others celebrate with a backyard barbeque, while others celebrate with an “old-fashioned” turkey and stuffing feast. And just like the diversity of the celebrations, the meaning behind the holiday is unique to each person and family. Some like to consider it the beginning of the “holiday season” that begins with Thanksgiving and ends with New Years, some like to bring up the historical significance, but I think most think of Thanksgiving as a time for reflection of the past year, and spending time with friends and family.

My family was a “traditional” Thanksgiving family. Although the venue changed every year, I generally would spend my Thanksgiving’s at my grandparents houses, stuffing myself with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, cranberries, sweet potato casserole, rolls, and at Grandma Hill’s house, the all important jellos. I almost always spent it with my grandparents, parents, siblings, and a various array of aunts, uncles, and cousins (whoever was able to make it to town). As we got older, we spent more of our time in different states, with significant others families, and on trips. The past few Thanksgivings I spent the mornings at a homeless shelter serving breakfast and in Chicago with my dad, brother, and Bruce Barber.

I have had a lot of memorable Thanksgivings, with good food and family warming my memories. Although I might not remember all the details of the day, I hold with me the feeling of happiness as I laugh with my Menefee/Thompson cousins at the “kids table” (we aren’t allowed to move up to the grown up table until we get married or have kids of our own, and no one has taken that next step yet) shoveling grandma’s jello in our mouths for more, and listening to my grandparents tell stories of years past around the Butterfield Thanksgiving table decorated with candles and leaves. This was of course after waking up to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade full of wonder at those giant balloons reminding me as a child that the sky’s the limit.

Last year was the first year that I spent Thanksgiving away from my parents and it was more difficult than I was expecting. I was still getting settled into site, and I had just received a new site mate. I was struggling to get into a groove at school and my community, and although I had made friends in my fellow volunteers, we were still in our “no travel outside of site for a night” rules, and so I was not able to take much comfort in them. However, with their help and the blessing of technology to connect with family back home, I made it through the holidays just a little bit stronger.

This year I have been at site for more than a year. I have gotten into a groove at school and at my house. I have made friends at site and I will be with my fellow group members for Thanksgiving, as we have a training the weekend of Thanksgiving. With all of these things, I am still feeling homesick over missing this holiday. 2 of my siblings are not living in New Mexico and they are not going home for Thanksgiving, making this the first Thanksgiving that my parents will spend with neither of their children. This might be a difficult holiday for all of us, as we adjust to the changes that naturally happen when people grow up. It helps me to know, however, that next Thanksgiving I will be back on US soil with my family.

As I deal with being away from home for another Thanksgiving, I am forcing myself to reflect on the many blessings I have in my life. Thanksgiving for me is a day to be thankful for everything in your life, no matter how small it may seem. Everyone has something to live for, even if you don’t always see it. Although you should be thankful everyday, it can be difficult to really remember that. Thanksgiving is a day to reflect on your own life, what has brought you to where you are, and to say an extra prayer of thanks for those things that help you along day to day.

I have had some difficult days over the past 17 months (Yup, I have been in Ethiopia for 17 months!) and there have been a lot of days where I don’t feel like I’m blessed at all. There are days where as us Peace Corps Volunteers say “Some days you just have to let Ethiopia win,” and I have had plenty of them. But, I have also had days where I never want to leave and my smile seems permanently engrained on my face. Where I remember those small moments mean the most.

Although I have lots to be thankful for, here are some of things that stand out to me as I count my blessings this Thanksgiving/Holiday season:

-       Hanging out with Peace Corps friends on American holidays

-       The post office, and receiving random cards and letters

-       When my Internet stick actually works, and Facetime to connect with my friends and family

-       My gobez students who pay attention in class and answer questions

-       Hot tea, fuzzy blankets, and my Kindle during rainstorms, especially when the power goes out

-       All the media on my hard drives, and the fact I can get new media from other volunteers

-       My land family who calls me their daughter, makes me feel at home, and cheers me up when I need it

-       My siblings

-       Playing volleyball and soccer with my fellow teachers and neighborhood kids

-       My neighborhood kids who welcome me home with smiles on top of the huge hill

-       My post office guys who stop me on the street to tell me I have mail

-       My own safety, both in my community and in the country I live in- the rest of the world might be unstable, but I feel content

-       The fact that I had the educational opportunities that I did, especially since I am a female

-       My absolutely incredible family, especially my parents, siblings, and grandparents!

-       My Chi Omega sisters who make me feel loved, appreciated, and supported and who encourage and inspire me everyday

-       My Peace Corps friends who pick me up when I’m feeling down and who help me when I’m going through things only they can understand

-       The support of my friends and family here and back home, all the time

-       The girls who come to my events and clubs, and who are wanting and willing to help other girls break through the gender roles this society has built for them

-       Music that helps me in whatever mood I’m in

-       The Peace Corps Kindle file that has given me more books to read than I will ever have time to, and my Kindle that lets me read books- everywhere, anytime

-       Time to read and enjoy the little things

-       Jebena buna, fresh injira, and hot sambusas

-       Well cooked Ethiopian food, especially tagamino, tibs, and special fuul

-       My students who make me laugh with their silly sayings, their own laughter, and their willingness to make a fool of themselves

-       The smile and laughter of an Ethiopian toddler as they play with something as simple as a wooden stick or a balloon for hours

-       Being welcomed into a house with open arms and a smiling face of someone you have never met

-       Getting to connect and talk to my parents almost every week

-       Care packages from friends and family with American food and happiness

-       The opportunities I have been afforded in this life

-       The fact that I live in a country where it’s totally normal for a 2.5 year old to be drinking sewa (an alcoholic beverage) at 8:30 at night

-       The chance that I had to go home and visit America, my friends, and family this summer

-       My fellow teachers who help explain things when I’m feeling frustrated with the education system

-       My own teachers in America who helped inspire me to love learning and have helped me grow as a person and teacher in the classroom and out of it

-       Random people on the street who step in when kids are following me yelling “money” or “firenji”

-       The Peace Corps Education team who works so hard to make sure things work out for us, and are most of our saviors here on a daily basis. Thanks Dan O, Zebib, Taye, and Ayu!

-       Coloring with my compound kids on a cool summer evening

-       Reading in my compound with the smell of buna around me in the evening

-       Getting my name called by every student in a school shift as I leave school with them after flag ceremony

-       My Counterpart who helps me in all my adventures and projects

-       The kids who run up to me just to get a fist bump or a twirl

-       Getting to hug my cousin after he got in an awful accident and we weren’t sure whether he would make it

-       Actually being called my name instead of “firenji”

-       Being invited to weddings by community members

-       A cold beer with Peace Corps friends

-       Cheese, when I have it

-       The waitresses at my favorite restaurants that know my order before I order it

-       The internet café guy who doesn’t charge me as much as he is supposed to

-       The kids who are willing to help me carry things home from the post office and market

-       My market ladies who I go to every week and give me the best food

-       Having the chance to shop at such a colorful market where I know exactly where my food is coming from

-       Business owners who greet me with a smile and a hand shake whenever I come in to buy food or eat a meal

-       The fact that I’m living in this really cool and awesome place and being given this amazing opportunity to learn and grow

-       Sunrises through the fog on Saturday mornings on the walk to special fuul

-       Sunsets in the evenings on cool walks through town

-       Getting safe and sound to your destination after a bus ride

-       Bus drivers who actually go the speed limit, don’t stop randomly, and get you to your destination in a timely yet safe manner

-       Redats who don’t over charge

-       Walking home with my students and getting to talk with them as friends instead of teacher and student

-       Having the opportunity to help my students, especially my girls grow and develop into amazing students and human beings

-       I know I have said this one already, but my INCREDIBLE AND AMAZING parents and siblings who have been there for me through it all and who I would not be doing this without them

As Thanksgiving comes and goes and the holidays approach, I hope that you will be able to count your blessings as well. Days may be difficult and times might seem bleak. As the news from around the world seems to just get more sad and depressing, it might seem like there is no light and that people stink. And yes, some of that is true. But I bet if you stop to look around, you have more to be thankful for than you will ever realize until you decide to pay attention to the good things. As I have been reminded many times recently, life really is short. You don’t know what day will be your last. So wake up every morning with a sense of greatness and go to bed with a sense of happiness. Hug your friends and family a little tighter this holiday season, tell them how appreciative you are of them, be grateful for all the things in your life that make you smile, and remember how great it is that you are able to keep on breathing.

Red Starbucks Cups Versus Famine... It's All About Perspective

I am lucky enough to have places in town that show BBC and CNN. The nice hotel with wi-fi where I spend a lot of my time during the week will (sometimes) turn it on and occasionally the teachers in my teachers lounge will decide to tune into the news instead of the normal loop of Tirgrinya music and Amharic soap operas. That being said, most of my news these days and learning what is happening in the world tends to come from my Facebook news feed. That means that normally the only things I’m learning about are just what my friends find important, and as much as I love them, they generally aren’t well informed.

            I can’t always catch up on what is happening around the world and in the US in terms of politics, religion, and social issues through FB and when I do, it’s normally through a poorly researched status or a very opinionated article share. I don’t claim to be any better about what I post, but I do shy away from anything too controversial or opinionated. I believe those conversations are much better had when you don’t have the option to shy away from your words behind a keyboard with no interpretation of the body or voice of the other person. Generally the “news” I learn about through my newsfeed is much more fluffy and pop culture, rather than in depth news stories.

            In the past week my news feed has been completely taken up by articles shared by my friends and family about these red Starbucks cups. Now anyone that knows me knows how much I love Starbucks and how excited I get when it’s red cup season. Last year my Aunt Karen and Uncle Ernie even sent me some as a joke in my Christmas package last year (shout out to y’all!). However, I am completely stumped as to why this is an issue at all. I am a Christian, I attended church regularly (well, tried to) at home and I have my religious views. I celebrate Christmas, do all the “Christmas-y” things including attending church services, and my list of pageant characters I played is pages long.

I am aware though that not everyone holds the same beliefs I do, and that is what makes both America and the world as a whole so much more interesting. I love learning about new cultures, religions, and beliefs and celebrating those who look at the world in a different way. The holidays in America are a great reflection of just how diverse our world and country is. I understand wanting to celebrate a holiday that has become so engrained in the holiday spirit, even if not in the religious sense, but in the culture sense. You can’t go places without Christmas, because it has become such a part of mainstream America. On the other hand, I understand wanting to keep the holidays as a time to reflect on the past year, but keeping in mind that not everyone celebrates Christmas and believes in the same things.

There are people who hold strong beliefs and are willing to hurt people to share their opinions on both sides of aisle. You have the religious people who want to celebrate Christmas and then you have the people who want Christmas banned completely. I think, like most issues, there is a compromise that can be reached and if people were just willing to work together and walk a mile in another person’s shoes, the issue would be solved. However, like we all know- compromise is not many people’s strong suit, and especially on something as personal as religion, even less so.

So back to the Starbucks cup “issue”. What’s the big deal? Either way, no one is going to be satisfied. Again, all I know of what is going on is my brothers synopsis for me on FaceTime and the titles of the articles I have scanned through while scrolling through my newsfeed (no, I have not actually read any of the articles, I have just seen the titles). I doubt Starbucks thought, “Let’s see how we can piss a ton of people off. Let’s change the design of our cups and call it a war on Christmas”. Who knows, that might have been their aim, I can’t read their minds. But I think they were just trying to be culturally sensitive and please the other side of the people who are claiming Starbucks is promoting Christmas. Both sides are crazy and over doing it. Whatever your beliefs are, I think the idea of hope, love, snow, and everything else during the holidays is something that all religions and beliefs have in common. I have absolutely no care in the world on this subject and I think both sides need to take a chill pill and realize that there are bigger issues out there.

Which brings me to the country I have called home for more than a year. I know there are a lot of things going on in the world, including natural disasters, an immigrant crisis, and a lot of insane world leaders. In Ethiopia there is currently a famine. Not a famine like the one in the 90’s that everyone tends to think of. But it is one of the highest famine rates in the world currently. The most recent number is 8.2 million people in need of food aid. I’m not talking about poor people who are living less than you are, I’m talking about people who are barely surviving on even less than they already had.

I don’t know the exact details of this I’m sad to say, but I do want you to pause reading this for a minute and think about that number… 8.2 MILLION PEOPLE. That’s a really big number, and it’s scary to think that I live in a country where circumstances are that bad. It is not really affecting where I live, it’s mostly in some of the other regions that were already having issues, but it’s still happening.

There are lots of bad things that happen every day, including in America. There are people who are dying from natural and unnatural causes and there is still sickness and unhappiness. Yeah, a really nice thought. But this holiday season there is always happiness, love, and hope as well. That’s what I love about the holidays- it gives people a new chance to give to the people around them. I went with my dad and brother a few years to serve Thanksgiving lunch to the homeless and it made me feel so much better about helping others, and made me more thankful for my own Thanksgiving dinner when I did have it.

I promise I’m not going to try and guilt you. I’m not going to send you pictures of the famine over here and ask you to donate money with sad music in the background. I’m not going to tell you to get over your own problems. I hate when people use the “there are people starving in Africa, so stop worrying about yourself” saying because I still think mostly about myself, and I believe we do have the right to complain about whatever it is, even though worse things are happening. If you are having a hard time of it, you should get to feel sorry for yourself (just don’t go too far), because everyone has a different level of frustration and just because someone else is suffering doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.

However, after all of that—there is something to be said for remembering perspective. Why is the Starbucks cup thing such a big deal? A company who used to make things a little bit Christmas-y to make money decided to change one thing to make it more inclusive and they are still making money. To everyone who is worried about Starbucks and the business decisions they make, I ask you to use your time and thoughts and worry about a problem that’s much bigger than a cup and more about human lives. Whether it’s the famine in Ethiopia, a civil war, an immigrant crisis, or a flood in Pakistan, I challenge you to educate yourself about an issue in your own back yard or across the globe.

The holiday season for me has always been about more than carols, candy canes, presents, the birth of Jesus, or luminarias. From Thanksgiving to New Years I loved the feeling of warmth, love, hope, and joy. For me, the holidays represent something that can’t be wrapped in a bow. It’s about acceptance, friendship, family, forgiveness, and remembering how much your own life means. That may sound cheesy, but it’s true. As this holiday season rolls around I challenge you to forget about the red Starbucks cups and all of the junk that comes with a commercial Christmas. I challenge you to think about those less fortunate than yourself, whether it be a down and out friend or family member, a story from a state away, or a crisis on the other side of the globe. If you are a religious person I ask you to pray for them, if you aren’t I ask that you keep them in your thoughts.

As you wake up every morning and go about your day and life, even on your hard days, I hope you realize how lucky you are. Again, I’m not asking you to feel bad for those who are suffering and I’m not trying to guilt trip anybody. But, I do want you to remember how sometimes perspective is all you need. So smile because you are breathing, think about those who need help, and then be willing to help them in any way you can, no matter how small. Forget those Starbucks cups, be aware of the 8.2 million Ethiopians in famine, and be grateful for everything you have in your life in the weeks and months to come.