My life this
past week has been a stressful one. I tend to over think and worry about things
a little too much, and in my head every scenario ends up in the worst possible
case, even though that’s never actually happened in my life. My Peace Corps
group was able to sign up for our COS date (aka, when we officially become a
Returned Peace Corps Volunteer and peace out of Ethiopia), which caused a
flurry of choosing the first spots to get back to America for various reasons.
This also prompted my 24-hour meltdown in which I realized I still have a lot
of unknowns in my future.
Up
until this point in my service my group has talked about life after PC with a
sense of fantasy, like it’s something so far away it’s not real. Well, with the
release of that email and grad school and job acceptances for myself and
others, it’s becoming a much more realistic and slightly terrifying reality. I
had a few close to breaking moments as I was beginning to realize I am still
playing the waiting game and there are still many uncertainties after 5 months.
I like having a plan, I have a to-do list every day, and I have always known
what I wanted to do next. I think this is why the past few days have been so
stressful for me. Not because what I’m dealing with is this stressful, but
because I don’t handle the unknown in a very calm way.
To
add to that, site has been a bit of a struggle with my students hitting their “senioritis”
a bit early (they have about 2 months of class until they take their National
Exams), verbal harassment from kids having gone up with the arrival of 2 new
Korean volunteers and a large group of Chinese construction workers, and the
all-important arrival of hot season, which makes any day between the hours of
around 10am and 6pm absolutely miserable. I now understand why Ethiopian women
use their umbrellas during sun and rain! The Ethiotel network has been in and
out like crazy recently, so texts sometimes get sent but no one has been able
to make a phone call go through in days, which makes the stress of everything
worse when you can’t even call your best friends and support system in country.
I’m also attempting to get back into shape, which means exercising and eating
healthier, which I’m super will make me feel better soon, but for now I just
want all the unhealthy food I can’t have.
However,
I am reminded every day that the struggles I face are more built up in my head
than are actual problems, and that I need to be grateful for the time left that
I have here.
I
was walking down the street the other day when I heard a huge gasp. I turned to
my right and the little toddler with Down Syndrome who is always at the firenji
mart was sitting with (I think her dad…) on the front porch of a restaurant I
frequent (the same family owns the store and the restaurant). She recognized me
walking on the street, and when her dad put her on the ground she ran up to me,
gave me a giant hug around the legs, and pulled me down to give me a kiss on
the cheek. All the Ethiopians around watched in amazement, as this little girl
got so excited to see me, and laughed when I got just as excited to see her.
Her smile every time she sees me makes me happy and helps me remember that I’m
loved, because she shows her admiration in such a way that it shows with a huge
smile and twinkling eyes.
As
mentioned above, teaching has been getting difficult with my students pretty
much checked out. At this point, most of their classes are review and I’m the
same way with my textbook and lessons. One of my more spirited students the
other day kept calling me “Mr. Kelsey.” I took that as an opportunity to teach
them the difference between Mr. and Miss/Ms./Mrs. (male versus female). Since
that day they have had a quiz and a group work assignment and on both papers
that student has written, “set by Mr. ____________________.” The fact he took
that and has started to call me Ms. Kelsey as well as call himself Mr. reminds
me that even if they don’t always remember the textbook English I teach them,
at least I am teaching them random little lessons that will hopefully help them
in the future.
There
are a few new TV channels that are on point (in my opinion). They show music
videos, but unlike some of the other channels that are constant Tigrinya (they
all sound the same) or Amharic (there is more of a variety there), it’s a
mixture of all Ethiopia, Indian, Western, and other countries. It can change
between a Gurage (Southern Ethiopian) song, One Direction, an Indian song, and
then a song from Nigeria. This has provided a lot of entertainment and prompted
some serious dance parties in my teachers lounge and buna bet’s around town.
It’s hilarious to watch Ethiopian adults try to dance to Ariana Grande, just as
they probably find it even funnier to watch me try to move my hands and head
like Southern Ethiopians do with their fast paced dance music.
People
tend to move compounds frequently here. Unlike in the US where you buy or rent
a house for a long period of time, I have noticed families tend to drift between
houses and compounds. My compound has quite a few families, and because of the
community sense here, I’m honestly not entirely sure which of the kids I see
wandering around actually lives with me, and which are just constantly over.
One of the little girls who I became pretty close to moved when I was home over
the summer, and even though she came to visit I was sad she left. However, she
moved back to my compound this week and it’s been non-stop giggles ever since.
Yesterday after I was exhausted from teaching she came into my room, but
instead of demanding I do something with her, she quietly started looking at a
magazine I recently got in a care package, then took out my coloring utensils
and a coloring book and started coloring quietly. Soon the other compound kids
discovered where she was and my calm was disturbed by them rummaging to find
crayons, coloring books, and stickers. However, that was accompanied by
laughter and smiles as they played with my hair, attempted to braid it, colored
Disney and Pooh, and stuck stickers on my face and theirs before attempting to
take selfies on my iPhone, while failing in the cutest ways.
I
was sitting in my room with the door and window open a few evenings ago to let
the breeze in (when the sun goes down, the weather is perfect) and I heard a
familiar sound of a child’s voice and pitter patter of feet. My compound niece
and her dad dropped in for a visit and some sewa. I was invited out as well,
and we sat around with sewa, laughing, and drinking. Although I never
understand what’s being said at these gatherings I love feeling a part of their
family and the community. Meerin (the toddler) started getting tired and fussy,
so the adults started making random noises with their mouths, the tarps, and
the trees around to distract her. She started joining in the fun and soon we
had a symphony of ghost, lion, hyena, dog, cat, and just loud noises going on.
They continued until she got too tired and fell asleep sucking her thumb nestled
on her dads lap as he finished his sewa before picking her up, laying her on
his shoulder, and walking home. It melts my heart to see parents caring for
their children anywhere, especially when it’s a father caring for his daughter.
I see women caring for their children and carrying them everyday on the street,
so to see a large guy take such good care of someone so little reminds me how
important parents are. Seeing sweet moments like that remind me of how precious
being a parent must be, and how important that relationship is, as well as how
much I miss my own.
I
have realized in the past few weeks how my best friends at site are the
toddlers around town, and my land family. Back in the States I hung out with
people my own age, but here it’s much easier to hang out with those older and
younger. They see the world in a different light and they help me to understand
humanity better. I have gotten myself all stressed out about life after here.
But then I have one of those moments mentioned above, or many others in between
and I have to smile to myself and remember that these are the moments I will
miss the most when I leave. Time has flown by, when looking back, although
regular days seem to drag on. The group before me is starting to leave country
and the newest group gets sworn in, in about 3 weeks. I only have about 2
months of teaching left and about 5 months left in country. If I don’t leave
early for grad school, I leave Ethiopia on August 26.
I
might be super stressed; I might have “I want to break down, Ethiopia won”,
kind of days. I might want this experience to just be over now. But I’m shown
constantly that I need to take in every moment and let every minute here be a
blessing, because I will look back and wish I could relive some of those feelings.
Jessie called me the other day (when our phones actually connected—the network
has been really off this past week) to tell me there is a camel in the well in
her town. Yes, you read that correctly, there is a camel in the well. I guess
the owners couldn’t afford to take care of it, so they blinded it and it
somehow ended up in the well. This was on Wednesday and she jokingly said,
“Worst Hump Day ever,” which I found absolutely hysterical. We all have been
stressed this past week, but as I’m now reminded, don’t let the “camel in the
well” days get you down, the next day will be better.
One
of my Chi Omega sisters Allison recently quit her job as a nurse to travel the
world. I see her pictures and hear her stories and am reminded that life really
is short, and that it’s YOUR life. So you can’t wait around and worry, you
can’t sit and wait for something to happen. YOU have to do something about it,
whether it’s book a ticket across the globe, kick kids out of class to make
things easier for you and the other students, or promise to not panic about
what you are doing in 5 months. So why sweat the small stuff? In a few months
this will all be a memory, those people who have taught you so much will just
be in your mind and pictures, and the moments you took for granted now just
turn into stories.
